5 Ways to Deal with Emotional Oversensitivity
Emotions are powerful. They can either make or break you. As a highly sensitive person, I’ve struggled on how to deal with emotional oversensitivity. When I was younger, I’d coil inside and cried alone. Later on, I’d build invisible walls when friends hurt me. Are you also going through these kinds of “drama”? Are you trying to nurse a heavy heart because it does affect your relationships with others? It is never too late. You have the power to take control over your emotions. Your heart has so much space and it deserves more peace, understanding, and tolerance.
Here are 5 ways to deal with emotional oversensitivity (5 questions you need ask yourself before letting yourself drown in anger):
- “Did the person truly intend to offend me?”
I, most of the time believe that people are good by nature. I have also realized that sometimes, like me, out of pressure and existential problems, others are able to say and do things that are beyond our comfort zone. Before reacting harshly, it is necessary to ponder on the intention of the other person. Most often, those who are really close to us do not intend to hurt us. It is just we are complex hearts conflicting sometimes.
“I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while.”
- “Am I just being defensive?”
Oftentimes, we feel a certain degree of pain and we tend to react over sensitively because we are defensive. Being defensive is a natural way to protect you from succumbing to the pain, the agony. On the other hand, when you use it to spare yourself from accepting your fault and blame others instead, this is not good.
Recognize your real feelings and see to it that you are not putting the blame on someone just because you are also going through something shaky in your life right now.
- “What is really the source of this negative emotion?”
After identifying my own way of defense mechanism, I reflect on the deeper cause. Once, I felt that someone has made me feel so insecure. I have realized that all those years I was indeed always feeling inadequate. It was clearly, a deep-rooted personal issues that must never be blamed on others. When we are feeling low, we tend to see the external detractors. Meditating or finding a quiet space for yourself so that you can really look into what is going on, you can watch the feelings flow, and you can accept your weakness with humility.
- “What can ease what I feel?”
Whenever you feel down because of the weight of your emotions, remember to think of the relieving solutions to ease these feelings. What are the things that you enjoy doing? I go to the sea if I feel oversensitive. The sea has this calming effect on me. It gives a wider space for thinking and contemplation. In addition, I try to eat healthy in such times so I would feel healthy no matter what. Do you have a go-to friend when you are feeling down? Never hesitate to have that person around. There are two ways to feel better – a) to be alone for a while b) to be surrounded by positive vibrations. Let your heart find comfort in any of the two. Solitude heals and it leads you to that special place of getting yourself better. On the other hand, when in need of friends, let them know. It is totally fine to need help.
- “What should I do to prevent it from happening once more?”
Have you ever thought of talking to that person who hurt you? This is the best way. I was offended by one of my good friends a couple of years back. I wanted to just cut my ties with her and those who were close to both of us. It was terrible. Then I realized it was so immature of me. I let the impulse to subside and I found a perfect timing to contact her and to meet in person. I discovered that she was not aware that she has hurt me. From there, I knew that she never had the intention to do so.
It is important to open the lines of communication. For oversensitive people like me, it is a must to find that catharsis and to listen to the other person’s side. This is the cure. This is the salve. And this, is the salvation.