5 Helpful Things to Consider If You’re in an Unhealthy Friendship
We can never deny the beauty and magic that only friendship can bring. It brings us the best in us. We share the highs and lows of our lives with a friend and it makes the journey more colourful. On the other hand, it is also tricky to keep the bond among friends since there a lot of factors that make and break us. Since friendship is a big part in your life, remember to weigh the values you want to keep. Your relationships affect you and your life greatly. It is necessary to make sure that you are investing on relationships that help you grow, stay open, and live the life you truly deserve.
So, here are 7 helpful things to consider when you’re in an unhealthy friendship:
1) The meaning of friendship
What does it really mean to you? Perhaps the meaning of friendship is different between you and your friend. This is where conflicts arise. More than anything, friendship is a mutual bond. Let us say that you look at it as support system, as a source of dreams and visions. On the other hand, if a friend sees it in a different light, there will always be incompatibility. The best thing you can do is to keep the lines of communication open. If you feel something off, share it to your friend. Be very honest. Your honesty to each other is the compass that will lead you home – to the real meaning for your friendship.
I have always believed in the profundity of friendship. It is the most essential form of bond whether it’s shared between peers or between parent-child and lovers. I have always invested my best to any friendship. I believe being with a friend is the center of the universe – it is a scared bond that speak so much about the connectivity of the universe.
2) Reflect on the negativity of the friendship
If you are beginning to feel drained when your friend is around, when you feel that you can’t be at your most authentic, then reflect on it: does this relationships still deserves your effort and energy? Negativity in the relationship signifies something wrong between you: whether it’s you or the other party, one thing is certain, something needs attention. Bear in mind that a rel friend is someone who feels you – someone who is willing to exert extra effort to listen to you and help you get through the hardest times. Even when you are at your worst, a friend is there to back you up and that person will never make you feel that you need to lie and pretend.
Staying positive is a must but considering the negativity of people and bonds is also healthy. It is like our sytem of check and balance.
3) The balance; the harmony
Like a seesaw, friendship needs balance. When one is down, the other person must be the support system. It does not work in a non-mutual relationship where one takes more than the other. Let us say that it is impossible for a good friendship to grow when one is selfish and would always want to suck out the energy of the other. It is an endless loop of giving and taking. A one-sided relationship will never last for long. If it does, it is way unhealthy and full of drama.
Balance is bliss as they say. To keep harmony and balance, you need to give your heart out and need to be sensitive at all times. As I recall my best friendships, I realize that I have tried to listen when I need to. When speaking, I see to it that I give my friend time and space to listen and to take in enough. When the balance is lost, a friendship is easily broken.
4) Let go when it’s time to do so
Letting go is something most people are afraid of. There is this usual flashback of memories spent together and it can get hurtful. On the other hand, it is necessary to ask yourself, “am I still happy?” or “am I still growing with this person?”. To let go of someone does not mean failure. It only means that you love yourself more so you are following the direction of your own beauty and self-growth.
Keeping people in our lives is a wonderful thing but change is inevitable. As we let go of heavy load,as we weed off unhealthy friendships, we also give our very selves the time and opportunity to flourish, to start anew, and to discover that the best is yet to come.
5) Drop the blame game
When a relationship ends, our impulse is to blame the other person involved. Remind yourself that we can’t help it. Life is all about beauty, grandeur, and also brokenness. Breaking apart does not mean failing at relationships, it is just a beginning of a lifelong journey involving better connections and tolerance to others. Blaming is unhealthy. It does not bring out anything good from you. Drop the blame game and move forward. When a friendship ends, let it be.
Every relationship is special. When it one has to end it, the voice of the heart needs to be followed. When your heart beats for the parting, heed it. It shall lead you to joy, growth, and strength.
Categories Love & Relationships